Monday, July 11, 2011

The Promise

Okay, I've been slacking with updating my blog. Every day I kept promising myself that I would start with the daily blogging again but for some reason I never fulfilled my promise, until today.
5 months have come and gone since my diagnosis. It still seems so surreal at times but yet I keep going every day with new challenges to face. I would be lying if I said that I DON'T feel sorry for myself because I have Diabetes. However, my loving husband gently reminds me that feeling sorry for myself isn't going to change the fact that I have this disease and will have it for the rest of my life.
I am planning to commemorate my 40th birthday with getting a tattoo. I am leaning towards getting a small butterfly on either my shoulder or lower back, with the gray awareness ribbon for the butterfly's body. I have thought about this for hours on end and decided that this is my way of getting closure by getting my body inked.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Kiss my ass, Diabetes...

Hmmm, this could be an interesting title for a book about my blog. I really like my blog title "Keep smiling through the rain" because that's basically what I've been doing for the past 6 weeks. However, "Kiss my ass, Diabetes" could be more of a humorous angle for a storyline.
My mother's favorite phrase was "Kiss my ass". She had used the phrase in every sentence about cell phones, something on the news or even about the weather. I am not kidding. I could only imagine if her and I had a conversation right now about this, we'd be laughing our asses off. My mother was a fighter with her battle with cancer for years and until the last year of her life, she kept fighting while her body grew weaker. Yes, she did occasionally told Cancer to kiss her ass more times than I can count on both hands.
I am proud to be my mother's daughter.

Kiss my ass, Diabetes.

Thanks Mom. I love you.♥

Friday, March 18, 2011

You look different....

Ever since my drastic weight loss from my diagnosis, I have slowly gained some weight back on my frame but I still get the occasional, "Did you lose some weight?"
Of course at that point I start my explanation and by the time I have finished my weary tale for the millionth time, the questions start pouring out about my illness.
I know people are curious (okay nosy) but I am the curious type as well so I try not to hold a grudge. The first few times launching into my story was okay but now I am at the point where I want to scream at the next person who asks, "You look different..did you lose some weight?"

Thursday, March 10, 2011

One Month.....

As I was preparing my breakfast this morning and getting ready to do my morning blood sugar and insulin, I realized that today it's been an entire month since my diagnosis. I still have flashbacks of the day I was rushed to the hospital by my husband. I was so weak, he had to carry me down our front steps to our car. The brightness of the sun was too much for my eyes. I don't remember the less than 5 minute drive to the hospital(I know my husband was driving as quickly as possible) but remember being put in a wheelchair at the ER entrance and being in an exam room while I was being poked and prodded by nurses and doctors. I remember being conscious at some point when I asked my husband what was wrong with me. I'll never forget the scared look on his face when he told me I had Diabetes.
When I finally started to get more and more alert in the ICU, it finally hit me and I just cried. The doctors who told my husband and later to me if we had waited one more day before I had gotten treatment, I most likely could have died after slipping into a Diabetic coma. I was very lucky and very relieved that my instincts had told me to get to the hospital. My blood sugar was over a 1000 when I was brought in and it's a miracle I hadn't gone into a coma. My mom was watching over me, I'm sure and told God that it wasn't my time yet. I still have two daughters that needed their mother. I didn't want my girls to grow up without me. I lost my mother.I didn't want my girls to lose their mother.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Out with the old, in with the new....

I didn't realize how much willpower I have with this new change in my life. For years, I was a Pepsi Cola addict. Not diet Pepsi (never could stand the stuff, even now) but regular Pepsi in a tall glass filled with ice. That was my "coffee" in the morning for years to jump start my morning. Oh let's face it, I drank the stuff all day long. I should've invested in Pepsi stock, I'd probably be a rich woman by now with my contributions to the company by purchasing AND drink a 2 liter bottle in a course of 24 hours. Every single day for too many countless years.
Now when I look at any Pepsi ads or walk by the displays in the supermarket, I cringe. Yes, I can barely look at it because in my mind, that was part of the poison I had in my body when I was deathly ill with the out of control blood sugar.
Yes folks, I was a Pepsiholic who had to quit cold turkey.

I drink Orange Juice in the mornings now with my breakfast. Never really ate what one would consider a "healthy" breakfast for years. Until now. Congratulations Dad, you were right, my bad eating and drinking habits finally caught up to me.

Now I have traded the Pepsi for Crystal Light Iced Tea.

Monday, March 7, 2011


I am slowly getting my independence back with this new lifestyle. I had taken my first baby steps in going back to work last week. For security and precautionary issues, I never leave the house without my testing meter and insulin. In my mind, it is like being naked without it. For example, people feel naked if their cell phones or wallets are not on their person. It's a way of life dealing with the challenges of having Diabetes.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

2 weeks ago today....

Has it really been two weeks already? Looking back on the events that occurred that fateful day, I realize that I am very lucky that I pulled through my terrifying ordeal. I mean, having a blood sugar level beyond the point of diabetic shock, really puts a life in perspective. I really think that I was given a second chance in life and I vow that I will never take life for granted ever again.
I am now legal with my eyesight and I am able to drive my car again. I was nearsighted and had prescription glasses for years and now my sight has basically turned into almost a 360. I am no longer nearsighted and don't need to wear glasses unless I am on the computer or reading. So, I had dropped 20 pounds and have better eyesight. Diabetes works in mysterious ways.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Day 10

Here it is, day 10 of my new life adjustment change. My blood sugar this morning was at a whopping 94. Normal readings before meals ideally should be 80-120 so I am getting there with my levels, slowly but surely.
Today I will be going grocery shopping for the first time since I have been diagnosed so this should be interesting. I don't want to break the bank but I usually watch my dollars and cents, unlike my husband, who just grabs items without paying too much attention to prices.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Take Out Food

Last night, we ordered take out from our favorite eating establishment in our area, Ice House.
For those in the Pottstown, PA area, Ice House is a household name for take out restaurants, including my household. I used to get their awesome buffalo chicken cheese steaks with cheese and gravy steak fries or their delicious Italian hoagies.
After talking to my hubby about what to have for dinner, we decided to step out of my comfort zone and give take out a try.
After poring through our take out menu(and counting carbs!), I chose a California Cheeseburger which they use 100% ground beef and a handful of steak fries with some ketchup. The burger had a good portion of lettuce, tomato and mayo which helped fill me up quickly and the meal was within my allotted carbs.
Sure I am going to miss all the hoagies and cheese steaks but it comforts me that I can still have a decent take out meal with my family.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Counting carbs

Being on a carb controlled diet, I have gotten into the habit of checking labels on different packages to see what fits in my diet.
My dietitian talked to me about concentrating on the carb grams and not really focus on the sugar grams. I am allotted 4-5 carbs per meal, measured out carefully of course. I am allowed to have a good portion of salads and meats at every meal since they aren't considered carbs.
Now even my 8 year old daughter goes and checks labels and tells me the amounts and asks if I could eat that particular food. Diabetes doesn't just affect one member of the family, everyone is involved.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

One week...

Today it's been a full week since I was diagnosed. It still feels so surreal that I have a chronic disease that was in dormant for god knows how long before it made its horrible appearance and almost cost me my life.
Ironically, I started seeing Diabetes TV commercials in the hospital and now at least once a day, I see some type of commercial about a Diabetes product.
My blood sugar readings in the last couple of days have been under 200 which is a good sign but I am also noticing some changes in my vision due to my sugars being out of whack. In a few days, I will be getting an eye exam and most likely a new script for my glasses. Until then, I can't drive my car. Ugh. I don't want to be an invalid and want to get back in a normal routine again.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Two of the worst days of my life....

Two of the worst days of my life occurred on October 31, 2009 when my mother passed away from cancer and February 10, 2011 when I was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed as a Diabetic.

Diabetes.....a couple of weeks ago I wanted to do something commemorate to celebrate my 40th birthday this summer. Well, be careful what you wish for. Joke was on me, huh?